Walrus July 28th

How to assemble IKEA Furniture in 27 simple steps:

Step 1: Travel to Tukwila, and look for the huge blue building.

Step 2: Park

Step 3: Abandon all hope as you enter the retail labyrinth of doom!

Step 4: Find the food court and eat some swedish meatballs. Yum.

Step 5: Take a nap in the bedding section.

Step 6: Ask someone who might or might not be an IKEA employee where the actual furniture is.

Step 7: Realize you didn't read the store instructions when you entered, and that you need to document ever item you desire to purchase on a slip of paper with a golf pencil.

Step 8: Cry.

Step 9: Have a sales associate help you, and lead you (by the hand) to the warehouse where the boxes of not-assembled furniture is located.

Step 10: Use you debit card to buy not-assembled furniture. Enter your pin number: ####

Step 11: Find your car and drive home.

Step 12: Arrive home and try to decipher the instructions.

Step 13: Cry again.

Step 14: Look online for help to assemble your furniture.

Step 15: Find the word "Lutefisk" whilst researching Scandinavian furniture and culture.

Step 16: Look up Lutefisk on Wikipedia.

Step 17: Drink a beer.

Step 18: Try again to assemble your IKEA furniture.

Step 19: Somehow accidentally poke your eye with the hex tool.

Step 20: Curse loudly.

Step 21: Call your dad to come over and assemble your furniture.

Step 22: Watch the Office on Hulu.

Step 23: Laugh at Michael Scott's stupidity while your dad accidentally pokes his eye with the hex tool.

Step 24: Feel bad for dad.

Step 25: Help your dad.

Step 26: Finish, and then drink a beer.

Step 27: Ask your wife to cook Lutefisk.